Keep Up The Bag; or, [the greatest game that never was]

We had to do a little rat killin' tonight and when we got back home Carrie suggested we spruce up a little bit. So we headed to the kitchen, ready to wage war on a few odd dishes that didn't make it to the washing machine for some even odder reasons that no one knows. And then it hit me. What we needed was not to enter into an episodic cleaning convulsion. Neither did we need to any longer stress over the capitulations of the day. What we needed was an amiable and calming (if not somewhat exotic) game of Keep Up The Bag.

The goal of Keep Up The Bag is simple, obvious, and eloquent: Keep a designated plastic grocery bag from touching the ground for an allotted amount of time. A spin off of the more simple and catchier childhood game Keep Up The Balloon, Keep Up The Bag combines hand-eye coordination with foot-ground coordination to bring you a challenging and jovial game that will test your wit, monitor your reflexes, develop your teamwork skills, and is sure to delight even the most begrudged of folk.

To play Keep Up The Bag, kindly find a partner and together select your favorite grocery bag. Agree upon an amount of time to play (noobs should start off with 30 seconds) and set a timer for the predetermined time. The taller partner should begin with the bag. Start the timer and hit the bag up into the air. Take turns hitting the bag, taking care to not allow it to touch the ground. You may not hit the bag twice in a row. If you make a bad hit on the bag it is up to your partner to redeem your folly. Should either you or your partner hit the bag twice in a row, or, at any time during play should the bag touch the ground, the bag wins.

What are you waiting for? Grab a partner, get a bag, and let the smiles begin!