Baby Idolatry, Family Idolatry

We just started attending a new Sunday school class for newlyweds, which we are really diggin' by the way (being newlyweds and the class that is), and in the class this morning one of the people that is leading made a really interesting point (at least we thought it was rather interesting). We were talking about how you need to make sure you aren't putting anything or anyone above your spouse and Bubba (that would be the leader) said that it's really crazy how fast things happen, that you are newlyweds one day and the next thing you know you've got “these things that have come out of you” (yes, he really said that) and that if you aren't careful you will end up giving so much attention and love and time and devotion to “these things you are holding in your arms” (don't know why he kept calling them things, maybe 'children' would have been a better descriptor? haha) that you will actually end up idolizing them. And I guess the reason we thought that was so interesting is that you really don't ever think that you could actually idolize your children. You see parents whose lives are completely devoted to their kids and making sure they have what they need (or want) and can do the things they want to and participate in the activities they want to and are always home with them and always spending time with them, you look at these kinds of parents and really your only thought is "Wow! What a great Mom! (or Dad)". But Bubba made a great point, that you can easily give your children so much of your devotion and love and attention that you spend 18 years completely serving your kids and they move out of the house and go to college or get a job or whatever, and you are left alone with this spouse who you don't even know anymore because you have spent most of your marriage putting your children in front of your spouse, and now there is this wall between the two of you and even worse, between you and God.

When we went through our premarital counseling with Mike and Debbie Bivins back in Murfreesboro, Debbie told us that one of the hardest things you will face in your marriage is keeping your husband (or wife) above your kids and making sure you are serving your spouse before your children. And this totally makes sense now. I guess when you think of idolatry, you think about money, or maybe your job, or possessions, or power, or prestige, but you just really don't think about idolizing your family. You know Jesus addresses this very thing in Luke 14:26 –

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters, yes even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

And maybe this is why Jesus addresses it, because it’s so easy for us to get so wrapped up in our families that we totally end up serving them before God.

Sadly enough, it is all too common to hear of couples splitting up after having been married 15, 20, 30 years, and it really makes me wonder if this ‘family idolatry’ is not a cause for many of these divorces, especially those in Christian homes. I was listening to part of a sermon from Mark Driscoll and he said “The great evangelical idol is family” and I think that is such a good point. (check this clip out if your interested, it’s pretty thought provoking). He goes on to say that church has become all about family. We market everything toward families. We have all kinds of family friendly programs and we teach all about how to be a better mom or dad or husband or wife. And I think that most of us have this sense of entitlement, that not only does God want what’s best for us, but darn it, I tithe my 10% and I deserve God’s best. And I think that we tend to believe that God’s best for us is to grow up and go to college, get married and have children and live in a safe neighborhood where the kids can play. And if that is what all our lives become about, if this becomes the reason we wake up in the morning, the reason that we live, the reason that we go to church or even the reason we worship God, if this becomes our reason for existence, absolutely are we guilty of idolatry.

Romans 1:25 – because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever!

And isn’t that exactly what I do when I put my relationship with my wife above my God? When I worship the creature rather than the Creator? Isn’t this exactly what happens when parents’ whole mode of being is to serve their children? Aren’t they worshiping and serving the creature rather than the Creator? Isn’t this exactly what the church is doing when it tells you to just come to God, he will give you a family, he will give you children, he will bless them and make sure they become Christians, he will give you a safe place to live and good jobs to provide a bedroom for every child you have? Aren’t we serving the creature and not our Creator??? And don’t we get so defensive about this? Because honestly, it almost even seems like you are doing something wrong when you try to love God so much that all of the rest of your relationships (especially that with your spouse or children) look like hate when compared to your love for God. It almost feels wrong. But couldn’t that be because we have our priorities so out of line? Because we have come to idolize our families, our spouses and our children? Because we have come to serve and praise the creature rather than our Creator God who has redeemed and saved us?? Man, God’s best for us is his Glory!! What more should we want for our lives than to bring praise and honor to the one who brought us out of the horrible pit of death and destruction and set our feet upon his rock and established our steps (Psalm 40:2)? What better for our lives than to glorify the One who gave us new life, who redeemed us and set us free from all the sin and death of this world and has given us new and eternal life through the death of his Son (2 Corinthians 5:17)???

And it is totally not a bad or sinful thing to serve your wife or children because God absolutely calls us to do just that (Ephesians 5). But God also desires our love and devotion above all else, including our families!

Just some food for thought, and just wanted to share about the baby and family idolatry because we really had never thought about it before! (and no, Carrie isn't pregnant!!)